community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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