OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I think my fart just growled at me.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
