Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
