my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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