Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
