I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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