I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
MIDGETS
????
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
