I need help removing her.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
