I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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