then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
