the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
