Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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