It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
