i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
