hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
