im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
