I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
