honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize