i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
