Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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