you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
