Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
