This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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