sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
