wakey wakey hands off snakey
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize