I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
