butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
