Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
