Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
