I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
