# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize