Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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