I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
