there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
