You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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