I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
