Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
