Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
