Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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