The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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