Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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