My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This is the high leading the old right now
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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