As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
