Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
