remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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