his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
