the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
