Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
