I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
