it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
