you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My balls are so social today.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I want to fling myself into the sun
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
