yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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