Can Purell be used as lube?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
