the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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