I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You've changed since you got that strap on
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
