I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I love you. Go after that dick
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
