so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
