you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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