For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize