Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
