its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
