i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
